officialunitedstates:

when I’m president I’m going to make a cone out of construction paper and wear it as a hat the whole day and literally no one can stop me and I will never tell anyone why I did it and refuse to acknowledge it and when they impeach me out of office I will wait a few years and then run again for president and win and do it again and again

concentration-lamp:

"Sir do you realize you were going 110 miles per hour in a school zone?"

"Pretty impressive, huh?"

buckysbeauty-capsbooty:

Chris Evans Ice Bucket Challenge (x)

I FUCKING LOVE THIS MAN.

BUT THE ONE TIME…THE ONE TIME YOU DECIDED TO WEAR A SUIT….

seedy:

you know when ur older relatives say things like “aww u were so cute when u were little” like excuse me bitch im still cute

ruinedchildhood:

When your parents pull up and you forgot to do your chores

ruinedchildhood:

When your parents pull up and you forgot to do your chores

jackfrostciicle:

compassfox:

drop-bass-not-babies:

Nothing says “I support gay equality” like a straight couple kissing in public.

… I’m a girl
We’re both girls

oh my god

jackfrostciicle:

compassfox:

drop-bass-not-babies:

Nothing says “I support gay equality” like a straight couple kissing in public.

… I’m a girl

We’re both girls

oh my god

psyducked:

do you ever wonder how many people have had a crush on you and never told you

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

cyclopette:

*wakes up at 9* nice

*immediately falls asleep, wakes up at noon* less nice

madohomos:

kingsleyyy:

i’m thankful my childhood was filled with imagination and bruises from playing outside, instead of apps and how many damn likes you get on a picture

image

slapdancing:

narwhalpokemonmaster:

slapdancing:

The bags under my eyes contain all the regretful decisions i make after 2am

Must be pretty big then

flawfilled:

RIP to all those who didn’t make it to 2014. And to those that did; I’m so, so proud of you.

I didn’t even try to scroll past this